Nana....It's funny how four little letters can spell a name that brings up so much emotion. If you have a grandmother that you were fortunate enough to be close to, then you know what I mean! My nana played a huge role in my life, most especially in my college years. I grew up living seven hours away from her, and while I adored her as a child, I didn't see her often enough to truly know her. It was when I went away to college and lived in the same city as her that our bond really grew. At that time, my grandfather (depaw) had Alzheimers, but he was still living with my nana. I was the only family that lived in town so I spent just about every weekend at my nanas house. Eventually, I moved some of my stuff into her house so that I wouldn't even have to pack a bag to come! The weekends were when I tried to help her grocery shop and run errands since my Depaw required constant watching. I can't say that I was doing this entirely out of selflessness. The homesickness I felt when I left for college was profound, and being with my nana made it better. How grateful I am for those memories! Each and every weekend we planted in her garden, grocery shopped and spent so much time talking. I listened to her talk for hours telling me stories of her childhood and family members I never even knew existed. Obviously, my first two years of college weren't full of wild parties, but what an impression they made on my life! It was during those weekends that I learned how to plant a garden, pick out a good brisket, cook almost anything, and even make jelly. She helped me with my school projects, and my lesson plans for teaching. Later, when I was married, she sat with me as I grieved for the baby I never got to meet, and she sat with me, smiled, and told me it would get better when Abby cried for two months straight. She could diagnose an illness better than any doctor I ever met, and she usually had a home remedy (that worked) to go along with it. She had a way of reading into people's emotions and knowing what they were feeling without them ever saying a word.
Those are just my special memories of her, and I am grateful that I have them to hang on to forever! She touched each member of my family in similar ways. They all loved her and have their own memories of times with her.
The reason I write this is because she passsed away at the end of last week at the age of 90. I know that eventaully my girls few memories of her will be foggy so I write this as much for me as for them to someday read. She had a massive stroke (from which she never woke) while playing dominos with her friends. Nana was able to live on her own at home for all of her 90 years. She left a kitchen full of her favorite dishes which is just the way I think she would have wanted it because she touched people through her cooking. Her pastor even said that he believed one of her spiritual gifts was cooking. She rarely complained about her health even went she wasn't doing well, but she did have a temper when she got upset. I like to think of it as spunk (maybe that's where Shelby gets it :) ).
So we grieve for her, not because of her death, but because we will miss her. I know where she is, and I know that I will see her again one day in heaven! A good family friend reminded me that it is a blessing that we can cry because we miss her, instead of crying because we never took the time to know her.
"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I shall give you rest."
Matthew 11:28
Now to the joy... Macey accept Christ as her Savior the morning of my Nana's funeral. It had been a long time coming. Macey had been asking a lot of questions for several weeks, even months, and I knew that she was ready. We talked with her for a while and made sure she really understood. The desire of my heart is for all my girls to make that choice, but I know it is theirs to make. How I wish I could do it for them! Macey told me before Nana died that she was ready, but it wasn't until the morning of the funeral that she asked Bret and I to sit with her and help her pray. Of course I balled my eyes out! Just typing it again brings tears to my eyes.